Why So SeriouS?

Happy 100 to me!!!!! I can't believe I've posted 100 times! It's ridiculous! Not only that...but people actually read my stuff! So....In honor of my 100 amazing awesome posts...how about a Giveaway?? I have a little something I'd like to give...but if there are any sponors that would like to contribute, please send an email to singlebailey@gmail.com. So at my 105th- I'll post what is up for grabs and how YOU can win!



Ok, so back to what I know you've been on edge about.....



My weekend was pretty SeriouS.



SeriouSly AweSome!!!!!



In case you didn't catch my clever little hints with the capitalized S's....My choice of boy in my life is S.



Friday night I went to a concert-which was super awesome p.s.- and when I got home S came over and spent some time with me. I don't know how or why, but it just felt right. The next morning I awoke feeling so happy! No anxieties, no regrets. And based on my previous posts? We know how common those feelings are. So it's a big deal for me to have an absence of them. I thought about it the rest of the morning and really felt at peace with my decision. Yay for me!!



I also had the following conversation with my friend Chad that went a little something like this:



Chad: So is this like the bachelor where you give them roses at the end?



Bailey: Ha ha kind of. But I was thinking footballs...roses are for girls.



Chad: Well, I like football, but I don't know about that. How about beef jerky? I think we can agree that every guy likes beef jerky.



Bailey: Ha ha. Done!



So- to my S, who is now my boyfriend (can you believe that!?) I give you this to represent my caring and affection:

Stay Tuned...

Dear Crazy Bailey,

I've made a decision. I've chosen a letter and I feel really good about it.

Will write soon.

Love,

Awesome Bailey

Cadbury Life Preserver

This week has been pretty busy thus far- but hopefully I'll make it without a nervous break down. Or at least crying. So far naps+cadbury mini eggs= no tears.

I've been trying to study when I get home from class, then Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday of this week I've hung out with S or R later in the evening.

We went over Monday, and Tuesday I spent some time with S again. We went to this hip hop class which basically just made me realize that I'm extremely rusty slash out of shape. It was humbling as I'm used to being the best in the class but there were people there that could eat me for dance breakfast. Nice to get some exercise though and do what I love more than anything else.

Last night I spent about 4 hours studying, then went with R to a movie. We saw Taken...I thought it was wicked awesome. I would give it probably a realistic 8 out of 10. I felt my time was well spent. The only time I've ever felt like I completely waisted my time and was slightly angry is when I saw Ice Age. I just heard blogosphere gasps, but really, worst movie ever!

I really am trying to figure out which guy I would really want something to progress with in a romantic relationship. It's been a lot harder than I thought it would be. I just want to make sure I'm making the right choice, that is, if either of them are right for me. I truly don't want to hurt anyone so I think it's important to take my time and be very careful. I am currently not kissing nor I have committed to either boy. I don't think I could feel good about making out with someone, then going on a date the next day with someone else. Not cool. So wish me luck....I need it.

Walk it out

I can't believe I'm about to hit 100 posts....3 more to go. I think this calls for a giveaway...what do you think?

So last night, I had a date with S and I had so much fun! We didn't do anything spectacular. We had dinner, then just hung out...and being the social media lovers we are, we read blogs and watched YouTube videos. And we loved it. We have plans to hang out Saturday and I'm excited for that. Each date seems to get better. I hope the trend in that market continues.



It's funny how easy it is for me to turn parts of my personality on and off. When it's go time, I can be fun, charming, outgoing, witty, etc. etc. etc. But, when I go home, the realist in me rears its ugly head and I begin to let doubts and fears creep in which results in an awesome worry slash stress session. I really do need to learn to calm down. I'm thinking Tylenol PM...I hear it does wonders. Sometimes I like to just run away from problems. And by sometimes, I mean most of the time. At least until I can gather the courage to do what I know needs to be done. The trick is getting to that point faster. I hate change....Obama sucks.

Oh Baby Oh Baby

I am so happy to be home. Regardless that it is Monday, I have returned to real life, and I sat next to a baby with a freakishly ginormous head on the airplane. Seriously, a TLC special worth.



On Sunday I met this super sexy guy at no where else but....the singles ward! Bah ha! He is super nice but also has wicked awesome bad boy hair. Loved it. He got straight to the point and said he wanted to take me out. Too bad my flight left at 9. He was probably the love of my life and we were going to have 10 super nice sweet awesome haired babies. Oh well.

R picked me up from the airport. That was very nice of him and I appreciated it. I was scared on the way home though because of all the snow. Really glad I left 85 degree Vegas weather for this shiz. As far as R and I go, I'm still just trying to take everything at super slow speed. I think it's better that way for all parties involved.

I'm going to see S again tonight and that makes me happy. I've seen him once since original date, so it will be fun getting to know him a little better...in person.

I plan to be up to my knees in homework this week, and I'll be sure to let you know how amazing I do on my media law test (sending good vibes into the universe...thanks "The Secret" *please sense sarcasm)

Can you imagine birthing the ginormous head baby? Paaaaaasssssss.

3 month rule?

I'm getting close to 100 posts. Can you believe that? Crazy.

So the vacation continues in Vegas. I'm trying to relax, but no matter where I go I seem to find things I can stress and obsess about. I really should put it on a list of talents I've developed over the years. I did put my mind at ease this morning by spending it in bed reading my media law book. Viva Las Vegas right?

I've decided when I get home my main priority will be school. I really can't afford to spend much time on anything else unfortunately. I just keep thinking how wonderful it will be to go to work all day and then come home to....no homework! Ahhh dreaming big right?

Something I've also been thinking about is a 3 month rule. I think it takes about 90 days to really get to know someone. So why not have that grace period before I think about any sort of commitment? As I type I do realize that putting a time period on things is somewhat ridiculous. But I do have to find some ways in keeping my sanity. I'm just trying to survive people!

I hope your weekend is magical e-friends!

I don't NEED to do homework...

This morning I woke up about 3 times and I can't tell you how amazing it was to just roll over and go back to sleep because I could!!! I'm having a hard time ruining my time with homework. Maybe tomorrow I'll get to that.

I am enjoying my time with my family. I especially like coming here because they make me feel so good about myself. They can't stop talking about how pretty or tiny I am- and even at 22 years old, it feels good to hear- regardless of how true it is :) (still working on this freaking muffin top...bleh)

I had a Dr. Pepper on the plane last night and I feel no guilt. In fact- I'm proud of it! (so maybe not working TOO hard on the muffin top)

I'm starting to miss the time I've been able to spend with a couple letters- and by that I mean boys (in case you're new). I will say that I expected more texts but it's good they haven't come because it makes me realize that I do enjoy the company.

My thoughts seem slightly convoluted right now and in no particular order. Won't apologize. I'm on vacation.

Excellente means excellent in Spanish

If you are looking to read a blog by someone who just got offered a new job and accepted it...then you're in the right place! Wooooot! More hours, more pay, and less Spud. Life is good. So at least my proffesional life is excellente.



Still struggling with anxieties but I think my spring break in Vegas will help calm the waters. Bascially, I'll be studying a lot. I know it sounds lame, but I'm kind of stoked. It gets my mind focused and away from other things and gives me time take that last push I need to come out of top as far as grades go. Ready.



I watched a movie with R last night and he made me promise not tell which one on here. But I think he secretly wants me to share with you all...but just in case...I'll just say that it rhymes with She and ends with The Man. :D I think he loved it more than any other movie ever. Ok, probably not. But he did enjoy it.



OH- also I came out to my car this morning to which I found a nice letter from S just saying that I shouldn't be super worried about life and everything will be ok. How do I know such nice people?! Really appreciated that. As well as all the comments on my last post. Eternally grateful. For reals.

One step at a time...I guess?

Well, the weekend was good. Not really anything too exciting- basically what I wrote in the last post happened, and that was that.

I'm going to talk about some things that I really struggle with, and ultimately I am hoping to get some feedback because generally I feel like I'm the only one like this. So- as I've stated in the past, I've concluded that I'm afraid of commitment. I think not only because I'm afraid but because I struggle with huge anxiety issues. Every time I think about being with one person or think that maybe they are getting "attached" to me, I feel my heart start to pump and I feel trapped. It isn't a fun feeling- and it continues to happen. My biggest concern is that maybe relationships just trigger my anxiety and no matter what I do- the anxieties will always be there. I've always come to the conclusion that maybe the relationship just isn't right for me...but part of me really wonders if it's more of psychological issue.

I was talking a friend this weekend and he was saying that in all the relationships he'd been in, he'd never felt the need to break up with someone or that it wasn't right for him. He just always felt fine about everything and the girl always ended up dumping him. Ummmmm opposite of my life maybe! How I wish I could be that way! Of course I wouldn't want to be someone that puts up with being disrespected or anything of the sort, but to just be content with one person for a long period of time!

So it is just me? Am I the only one? I feel like I can't be. I just wish I could find some clear answer as to what to do because if it is just me and my crazy head...maybe I just need to brave the storm and find a way to come to terms with the fact that this is something I am just going to need to deal with for the rest of my life. But if it isn't...if I really will find someone where I don't have these constant anxieties about....

What if, what if, what if....

Awesome Info...but not quite yet!

I just learned how to put videos on my blog (I'm so behind the times) but now all I want to do is post videos! But I wont, mostly because they probably wouldn't have anything to do with what I write.

So today I got a surprise offer for lunch from S. I have very happy to see he was 10 times less nervous (although, I do think there seemed to be a hint of it left) but it was definitely a good time. I enjoy talking to him and I like especially that I can be myself. Although I may get in trouble for my "inappropriate comments" (Mom!) I think S quite enjoys them. Happy day.

Tonight I will be spending more time with R. We are hitting up a wedding reception (not our own) and then a CD release party for Green Like July. After which we might break out the big guns and open our sweet awesome dinosaur capsules that expand in water. We're just a couple of rebels I tell ya.

This weekend is promising and I have some exciting information which I need to wait to post about but just know I'm pretty stoked about said secret information.

Have a fabulous weekend e-friends!

Who's got the time?

I'm slightly irritable today. I hate that. I think I'm just super stressed with school (and skipping three classes this week certainly didn't help) and I'm ready for spring break and some time off of work. I'm looking into getting another part time job in the mornings for the summer. Need to pay those bills right?!

I wonder how I ever had time for relationships before! I've got so much going on it feels like worrying about my love life (although prominent on this blog) has taken a back seat to my worries about career, school, and other aspects of my life.

I do need a change of pace. I keep thinking about how quickly time passes and I can't afford to waste it on things that don't put me on a path towards my goals or help me in becoming a better and happier person. It just doesn't seem right! I believe we are truly meant to be happy as human beings but we stifle that process for things like security and become apathetic to what makes life worth living. I'm one to talk right?! Time to get out and make something of myself!

I'm 60 years young....

Dearest friends and family:



Thank you for continuing to read my blog. It truly makes me happy when I see my readership climb and climb. It's a simple pleasure I've become incredibly fond of.



I've been spending time with R this week and enjoying it very much. I like building a friendship and learning more about someone that genuinely wants to learn about me. We've been watching movies, drinking hot chocolate, playing games, and working on puzzles. I didn't realize how much it sounds like we are 60 living in a retirement community. To each their own! I'll continue to write about adventures of Bailey and R in the future.



I feel good today. This may be in part due to the fact that I took another mental health day (I won't feel guilty!) but I feel happy. I feel grateful and blessed in many ways. I love the sunshine and feeling like the world is a beautiful place.



I still hate cats.

Run, Forrest, Run!

Yesterday I could barely stand how tired I was. I took 2 naps. You heard me. 2. I did go to all my classes, work, the gym, and cleaned- so I was productive but not as much as I could have been. Today I'm not as tired which seems ironic being that I only got 6 hours of sleep. Meh.

Today I've been thinking a lot about my commitment issues. I've at least gathered this much: I don't like to commit because it hurts so much if things don't work out. So if there is no commitment, I can't hurt someone, or be hurt, as badly. The logic behind it seems like it would make sense but when I read that over it sounds ridiculous. I do not want to live in fear, but I also don't want to feel so sad when things don't go as I had hoped. Ultimately, I just want to stop running away. When a boy is nice to me and shows interest in me I get slightly uncomfortable and most of the time my first urge is to run. I don't want to do that anymore. Maybe I should just face the music and work through the anxiety? Yes? No? Hm.

I'm still slightly convinced I'm going to end up a cat lady. I guess cats aren't so bad. Except they are and I hate them so much and I can't let that happen.

Dear Boys: I like you again.

Oh. My.

So so much to blog about today.

Today is day 1 post dating marathon, and let me tell you, it was pretty intense. Not in a bad way, but 3 first dates where I need to be on top of my game? I'm definitely feeling the fatigue the sport of dating causes. I'm sure it may have something to do with daylight savings, but who knows ;)

Q showed up to my house Friday night about 20 min late with no phone call. I hate when people are late. I was annoyed, especially cause I was hungry! I got over it pretty quick though and we drove up to Sandy to the watch Jazz Game. The conversation on the way up was good, we had a lot in common. Dinner and the game were fun. I felt comfortable with the group of people there and made them laugh many a time- my main thrill in life. The drive home was nice as well as it gave us more time to talk one on one. Ultimately the date was uneventful, but very pleasant. I very much enjoyed it and did get a "let's do this again sometime!" out of it. If he asked again, I would say yes.

R was Saturday night. He was about 5 min late but did call. Much appreciated. Turns out it was the brother of the girl that set me up! She said didn't tell me it was him because she didn't want me to feel obligated. Fair enough. We went to this mini-golf, go-kart, arcade type place with 2 other couples. We pretty much did everything in the place and didn't end up leaving till 1 am. After that, the two of us went to IHOP and ate and talked for awhile. I didn't get home until 3:45 am. To say the least, it was a great date. So much better than I could have anticipated and really glad I didn't cancel, which had crossed my mind. I really had some good chemistry with him. He's already asked me out again...:)

S is for Sunday! I made dinner and he was in charge of dessert. He was on time! Even though he got semi-lost (wrote down the wrong address) he was still on time. A+ for that. He also brought me flowers! So cute right?! I can't remember the last time I got flowers. So we had dinner together and talked and talked. It was nice to meet the person behind the blog :) We ended up watching super weird and random TV shows for awhile. Thanks TV, for making the date pretty memorable. By 10 I was exhausted, so we called it a night. I could tell he was nervous at the beginning, but started to loosen up. I really enjoyed getting to know him and hopefully he ends up taking me dancing one of these days!!

All in all- it really was a great weekend that has restored my faith in great guys. I would go out with all three of them again. Ultimately, I just want to take things slow with whomever I end up with whether it be Q, R, S or any other letter. People sometimes look good on paper, but I think there needs to be more. I just hope I get a chance to really get to know a couple if not all of these really great guys!

11 days!

Instead of killing Spud, I thought it better to blog.


Alright so if you saw this and the comments below- It's true, I have a date on Sunday with S. Don't worry church goers- we are making dinner and staying in. I'm nervous slash excited and ready for whatever will happen. Kind of.


Tonight I have a date with Q. This is a guy my friend set me up with in a round about way. He seems nice enough. We are going up to Iggy's Sports Bar in Sandy and watching the Jazz game and hopefully eating lots of food. I don't mind watching the game, but it's a lot easier for me to sit through if I have food. I love food so much. It's a wonder how I'm not 300 lbs.


Saturday is blind date guy. I really don't have much to say about this.


Last night I had an epiphany about my life and why some things have been a struggle lately. I do intend to write a detailed blog later, but I will say I think I found some solutions to some of my current issues, so I'm optimistic about the next few weeks.


P.S. Countdown to Spring Break: 11 days!!!!! I wont make any promises that this won't be me (out of excitement of course):

So many letters, so little time.

Anything could have been better than last week, but this one has been exceptional.

So this weekend I have a date Friday and on Saturday. More importantly I'm excited for a date I will have next week. Funny thing about time though- sometimes it changes things. So I will hold off on too much excitement until after said date.

I think I may have implied in my last blog that I can't find anyone to kiss. This is very much not the case. It's easy to kiss someone I don't know. I think that goes for most people. If you don't know them, they can't gross you out and you can be blissfully ignorant to how horrible they are. The key is finding someone you already know and like and want to kiss them for those reasons as opposed to just really wanting some action because your canteen is empty. So- currently in search of boy who is worthy of kissing :)




Nothing really new with mystery guy. Whatever. I'm kind of crushing on yet another boy...
The thing is, it takes a lot for me to get emotionally attached for real....like to the point where I'm really sad if things don't work out. So I guess I just move around a lot if I'm not seeing any interest from the other side. I'm so emotionally healthy ;)

Today's Reason to Run:

11. If he is constantly talking about his ex girlfriends, maybe he should just go hang out with them.

This picture has nothing to do with anything, but I love it.

I'm really not into dudes who talk about other chicks. I want to feel like he is excited to be there with me- even if he isn't. Just no sense in bringing up another girl, it's really unattractive and I know I am absolutely not alone in this sentiment. If he can't stop talking about her- go find a boy who wants to talk about you!

Happy dating!

K-I-S-S-I-N-G

Blogging has become one of my only vices. It really does get me through the day. Another critical element of my day I've needed to eliminate is Dr. Pepper. I've gained some weight and I don't like when my jeans are tight. So, water, the occasional Coke Zero, and gym slumming every night should get me back on track. Regardless of the actual numbers on the scale, working out just makes me feel good! I feel better about myself and it helps my brain be happy. Don't worry normal jeans...fat jeans will be gone soon enough.



This weekend I have a blind date. My friend Heather set me up. Normally in these situations I Facebook stalk them and already know the answers to questions I ask, not to mention what they look like. This time I've decided to be completely surprised. No idea who he is, or what he's about. I trust she didn't set me up with a murderer...so what's the worst that could happen? I know...lots of things. Going to be positive though!



Do you realize that after Saturday night, or maybe even Friday (we'll see), I will be past letter Q?? This scares me a little. I really hoped to have not gotten through the entire alphabet of men, but looks like that's going to be the case. Oh how I miss being in love.



Still working on things with mystery guy. Not really pushing anything- just becoming friends. This one will be a slow process. At this point, I have nothing to lose and all the time in the world, so why not?



P.S, I have yet to kiss anyone this year of 2009. Miss that too.

Go away muffin top!

My weekend was much better than expected. I had a great dinner at Tucanos with my friend Josh, then we watched a movie. It was the first time I had been able to really relax all week! I tried really hard to stay awake for the whole movie. Saturday morning I had breakfast with P, and I will say I had a wonderful time with intelligent conversation. People who actually have something to say are really hard to come by these days!



Saturday night I went to dinner and movie with my "brother" Jack. We saw Push- Jack hated it, but I didn't think it was that bad. Other than that I just relaxed and enjoyed my no work slash no school days. I hate how quickly those most coveted days goes by.

This is my fam- Jack is the only Asian :)

Today I accidentally slept in again on purpose (I did have a huge headache though!) so I didn't get up until 11- to get ready for my 1pm class. Turns out that class got cancelled! She didn't tell us until we got there...so that was kind of lame that I had to even go...just to turn around and leave and come to work early. No complaints though, none at all.

This week I hope to be able to focus more on socializing and meeting new people. I'm also looking forward to going to the gym everyday- the muffin top beginning to come in will in no way help my dating life.

I feel like this post has been less than exhilarating for you, but I hope to have fun things to write about soon! There is someone I'm looking forward to getting to know better....I'll be sure to post about any good or bad happenings in that area.

Hopefully your Monday has been as relaxing as mine!