Today I've been thinking a lot about my commitment issues. I've at least gathered this much: I don't like to commit because it hurts so much if things don't work out. So if there is no commitment, I can't hurt someone, or be hurt, as badly. The logic behind it seems like it would make sense but when I read that over it sounds ridiculous. I do not want to live in fear, but I also don't want to feel so sad when things don't go as I had hoped. Ultimately, I just want to stop running away. When a boy is nice to me and shows interest in me I get slightly uncomfortable and most of the time my first urge is to run. I don't want to do that anymore. Maybe I should just face the music and work through the anxiety? Yes? No? Hm.
I'm still slightly convinced I'm going to end up a cat lady. I guess cats aren't so bad. Except they are and I hate them so much and I can't let that happen.
4 comments:
Be a dog lady. That's what I'm going for.
It's easy to be scared of commitment, but let's be honest. You are Bailey, "Champion of the Apocalypse!" When the right one comes around, you'll know,and you'll be comfortable with it. Until then, just focus on having fun. And hating cats.
Ok I'm coming out of hiding... I've been reading your blog for a while.
And you know what, I was always the same way. I was always scared of guys when I found out they liked me. When the right one came along, it just felt right and I couldn't run from it if I tried. Hopefully it's the same for you! And I agree with Bags.
I know exactly how you feel. I have denied so many guys the past few months because its just sort of scary. Good luck with it all. I agree with bags, remember to hate cats. lol.
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