Thursday, April 30, 2009

Too tired for tears

My thoughts are really convoluted today. I guess we will see what comes out.

I do feel lonely. Mostly I'm just afraid that my flaws are too great and no one will ever want to accept those as a part of me.

The rain keeps pouring. Not necessarily for me, but for my family. So much is happening, so many lives changed, so many emotions. I've turned mine off. I stop myself from crying because I just can't do it anymore. I'm too tired. I don't have the energy.

I have no desire to date. None. I want to work on finding new things to focus on. Do service. Take care of myself. Feel good.

I wish I didn't love Dr. Pepper so much. It's made me fat. I feel the same way about candy. You'd think after the waking up with wrappers stuck to my legs incident that I would have had a wake up call. Nope. Still love it. So much.

5 comments:

Kristina P. said...

I'm so sorry that things really suck right now.

And does Diet Dr Pepper taste the same? No caloried!

Jules AF said...

Diet Dr. Pepper is God's gift to fat people.

ChrisJCole said...

Hey B -

I am so so sorry to hear how you feel. I totally understand in a way.

Keep your head up kiddo

C

Define Benjamin & Heather said...

1) You are not fat, you know it. You are basically one of the most gorgeous girls I know.

2) That stage sucks when you feel lonely, I was just there when I was missing my ex/best friend a while back. If you wanna talk, let me know, I love talking about this kind of stuff.

3) We should really hang out soon, your to darn cute.

4) A while back I had no desire to date either, I would get offended if a guy would even touch me even though I wouldn't show it.

5) Even though I am dating a lot, I still feel like I am being picky that no one would qualify, and not letting anyone in my life in that way (relationship).

Chelsea Lynn said...

Love your writing, lately I can relate completely! ahhh. ;)