I'm feeling a little better than yesterday. Which is how things will go...better than the day before. I'm praying not to have any hard feelings, to be able to endure the part that is deeply hurt, and to still find some hope that not all all my relationships will end up in disappointment. I'm needing to push out thoughts of "real" reasons he did this, as opposed to the ones he told me about. Really, we are at different places in our lives. I've felt so much heart break. So much. I can truly appreciate how hard it is to find a connection with someone. To be able to feel right, to laugh, to smile, and even to be sad with someone. It truly is a rare commodity. But there is opposition in all things and we cannot know sugar without knowing the bitter taste. I know he'll figure it out, just like I did.
It really is a weird feeling to have your little world turned upside down in 10 minutes. It seems to trivial looking from an outside perspective, but feeling such intensity when it's so real to feel. I cannot hope for things to change in this situation. I cannot dream of him changing his mind and being able to value me. If I do, I cannot progress. The only thing worse than a broken heart is sustaining one.
Love you guys
3 years ago
3 comments:
Good. I can't say I've ever experienced heartbreak, but I do think each relationship teaches a person a little more about who he/she is. The key word there is think. I don't know. This is out of my range of expertise.... (And I don't admit I'm clueless often....)
Hey girl. Hope you're feeling a billion times better. Breakups suck but if you're the same girl I remember from cheer, you're gonna be fine. I don't wanna sound patronizing (in fact, this is prob more my feminist side coming out) but #1 you deserve a guy who wants you just as much as you want him (and if a guy isn't treating you like that, bail out fast) and #2 in Utah...there's a certain culture that teaches false things. It teaches people (girls especially) to place value on themselves depending on their relationship status. Single = not cool; in a relationship = boller status :) Totally false. I know you know this, and I'm super sorry if I sound patronizing, but you are 100% capable of accomplishing a shiz load of awesome stuff without the help of a guy. Place more value on your-single-self. You owe it to yourself.
You're so right!! I never realized that I have such a negative connotation attached to being single...I need to embrace it rather than fight it!!! Thanks for your comment...I really appreciate it! I'm glad I can read you're blog now too!!
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